Saturday, July 30, 2005

A Few Stitches Short


larger view

Reader Theresa emailed in this cross-stitching template and wants to know if all the Chinese characters were written correctly. This template titled “Bonsai and Buddha” was designed by Nicholas Charles and manufactured by a company based in Reading, PA, USA called Dimensions.

is missing a few dots in the partial.

is missing a horizontal stroke.

should have written as the traditional version of to be consistent with the rest of characters.

is missing a top dot.


"No Men Allowed"



A few days ago, a tattoo artist emailed me the template shown above and asking for some assistance. Her client wanted to have it tattooed on her and claiming the four-character Kanji phrase meant, “no men allowed” in Japanese.

The characters may bear the meanings of “no”, “male”, and “allowed” individually, but they are placing incorrectly in a phrase. To verify my assumption, I then forward it to my Japanese associates to see if they would understand what the phrase meant without telling them the intended English translation.

The consensus is that the phrase is nonsense. It appears that it was generated via “machine translation” or “beisei nihongo” 米製日本語--a term coined by Aaron Batty, meaning American-made Japanese, (as opposed to Engrish) at best.

= no, not; un-; negative prefix
= man, male adult, husband; those
= to permit; to allow (the sense of "allow" here is not the sense the woman means. It's more like "forgive," or "let.")

It's obvious someone looked this up, but maybe they just took the "coolest" characters with no idea that they were dealing with a real language that has rules and that random pick and choose is not the best idea.

Also, it makes no sense at all to have the first two characters going vertically and the last two horizontally. It's crazy.

We have a suggestion for this woman, in actual correct Japanese, and looks cooler to boot:



(dansei kinshi) "males prohibited"

Now she can be safe in the knowledge that straight males who read Japanese won't try to coming on to her (no pun intended).


Thursday, July 28, 2005

Language Misuse Go Round and Round



Here at Hanzi Smatter, my associates and I have spent endless hours chuckling over miswritten Chinese character tattoos. We also know that on the other side of the globe, there are probably some Asian schmucks that have English gibberish (or Engrish) tattooed on them as well. Even though we believed our prediction would be true, there has never been anyone that sends us photographic evidence to prove it.

That is why we were so excited when Reid Barrett sent this photo to us from Beijing. Along with the photo, Reid had this to say:

"Tian,

I'm a big fan of your site. Unfortunately like all Blogger and blogspot sites, it is blocked in China and so I have to go through proxies to keep up with your page.

Anyway, I was on the subway one day and noticed this Chinese guy standing next to me with a tattoo. When I saw what it was and the significance clicked, I was glad I had my camera with me. He let me snap off a pick just as he was leaving. Sorry it's not a great picture, but hopefully you and everybody else will get a kick out of it: a crudely made tattoo of a clichéd phrase in English on the body of a Chinese guy who doesn't understand a word of the language.

Yup, it says 'I love you!' but as you may be able to see the 'o' and 'v' are smashed together, the 'y' is written rather sloppily, and the 'u' is only half finished. It is a perfect parallel to poorly written Chinese and Kanji."

There are two reasons why we are ecstatic about Reid's find in Beijing's subway:

1. Superficial knowledge and misuse of language happens everywhere. Just look at Engrish.com.

2. Asians are not the only people that carry cameras, although the stereotyping is still funny and often true. I am doing my part to "representing" and keeping the stereotyping alive by purchasing another camera - Canon Powershot S1 IS.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Carisa Anderson's Upside Down "Devotion"


http://www.ushra.com/photoGallery/050320wedding/wedding134.jpg/
http://www.ushra.com/photoGallery/050320wedding/wedding136.jpg/

Reader Andy emails me several photos of Dennis Anderson and his new bride Carisa at their wedding in Las Vegas earlier this year. For those who do not know who Dennis Anderson is, he is the driver of monster truck, the "Grave Digger".

The new Mrs. Anderson seems to have an upside down on her right arm.

= loyalty, devotion, fidelity


Monday, July 25, 2005

Dummies for Kanji



Reader Dan has pointed me to today's "Joe and Monkey" by Zach Miller.

The two-character phrase featured in the comic means "idiot".

Just a side note, even though both Japanese and Chinese use same if not similar characters, when they are used as Chinese, the characters are "Hanzi", and as Japanese, they are referred as "Kanji".


It Says "Princess" in Japanese


http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=410

Reader Heather has send me a link to today's Questionable Content webcomic by Jeph Jacques. One of the characters, Raven, decides to get a Japanese tattoo, and of course end up with a tongue lashing from others.

= princess


Sunday, July 24, 2005

"Tranquility" Lost



I saw this "Wall Hanging Asian Character" for sale at a local Bed Bath and Beyond store. The character has an English caption stating it means "tranquility". The truth is far from "tranquil".

Depends on how is used as in a phrase or sentence, it has many meanings including "catch; receive; suffer", "to make known; to show; to prove; to write; book; outstanding", and "plan; settlement; to wear", but none of them means "tranquility".


Monday, July 18, 2005

Slut Tattoo



People never cease to amaze me. Just the moment I think I have seen/read all the bizarre and obscure, I got an email from a guy asking on behalf of his wife about “slut” be tattooed on her in Chinese.

At first I thought it was a joke, but after a few more rounds of email-tag, they were serious about it.

From: "Electraglide"
To: tian
Subject: Slut Tattoo
Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2005 19:40:13 -0400

Maybe a little off the path, but my wife wants a tattoo that means "slut" is this 妓女 proper translation if not could you provide one. I hope this doesn’t offend, you seem to be an authority and she wants to get it right!! Thanks so much!

"Is this guy serious?!", I thought to myself. The two characters in his email do not mean "slut", but "Prostitute". I am very curious about the reason why his wife wanted this tattoo. Also if she is the one getting the tattoo, why didn't she email me directly instead of the husband?

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 09:28:25 -0400
From: "Electraglide"
To: "Tian"
Subject: Slut Tattoo

yeah I'm serious, I don't know why she didn't email you, and she just asked me to look into it for her... "prostitute" wouldn't work, oh well! she's just a FLIRTATIOUS girl, she wanted an obscure tat that represented her sexual demeanor.

Soon after his wife emails me directly to verify that she indeed wants this tattoo.

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 12:02:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: sue blue
Subject: Slut Tattoo
To: tian

Hi, Not really sure why you couldn’t speak with my husband, but here I am... Do you have the symbol I want or does it exist? I want to put it just below my panty line :)

This is what I replied to her with:

First of all, I think it is very odd someone, especially a female, would voluntarily get a tattoo to label herself "slut".

Secondly, if you want this tattoo for yourself, why would you ask your husband to ask me? Adding an additional "middleman" to this would just make things more complicated. What if he hands you the characters upside down or mirrored? Other people would think I did it on purpose.

Last but not the least, don't you think getting a tattoo of "slut" is kind of cliché? I mean I really should not judge you and your husband from our emails, but do you really want to waste the money and time and advertise something that is so obvious?

All moral lectures aside, here are some choices:

破鞋 =
"worn shoe", hopping from one man's bed to another
賤貨 =
"inferior goods", discounted punanie
臭屄 =
"stinky cunt", wet wipes can't get everything out
子 =
"slut", simple and classic

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 12:34:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: sue blue

Subject: Slut Tattoo
To: Tian


I don't think it's odd at all, well maybe, but the fact is there are more women that are and are not truthful with themselves or their mate. My husband and I are unique and have a stronger bond and desire for each other than any other couple I have seen. Thanks for not giving me a lecture, we all must accept the paths that we take. I had mentioned this to my husband and he was trying to research it for me, how sweet! If you don't mind sending the symbols to his email, mine did not show up properly. Thanks again for your time, Sue


I really hope these two are sterile that they don't have any kids. Just imaging the horror the kids have to go through growing up at school, friends and bullies would taunt them with "your mother is a slut, her tattoo said so..."



Thursday, July 14, 2005

Hotdogs Tattoo in Big Brother Australia


http://www.bigbrother.3mobile.com.au/news/article_302.asp

Reader Amy points me to an article posted on Big Brother Australia's website about one of their housemates' tattoo:

Hotdogs took some inspiration from the East when it came time to choose his tattoos. On his right arm is a series of Chinese characters, during his first day in the house Dean and Glenn joked that these might represent Hotdogs favourite meal at the local Chinese takeaway. Hotdogs explained that he understands the characters to mean: "strong, fierce, the heaven is eternal, the earth everlasting, King."

Alma Yuan a translator from Australian/Chinese company Uni-Pacific Services confirms that the four smaller characters in combination do mean 'everlasting'. However, rather perversely, one of the larger characters is a posthumous title for Zhu Youjian, the last emperor of Ming Dynasty, who notoriously hung himself as the rebels approached to conquer Beijing. (more)


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Tricky Tiger Saloon



Reader Aylwin emails from Canada:

"
I spotted this shirt on display last weekend at The Bay (a Canadian department store chain) at Bloor & Yonge in Toronto..."

The character on the upper left corner means "rescue" or "save". According to my Hong Kong native friend Angela, the four characters in the Chinese seal (or Japanese hanko) is a Cantonese slang about cool good looking guy. literally means "[to] have shape" or "shapely", and means "good looking guy". In Mandarin Chinese, is used to describe a good looking guy.

The only conclusion I can draw from the shirt is that "in order to be a cool good looking guy at the Tricky Tiger Saloon, one must rescue a tiger from a white wife-beater tanktop".


Monday, July 11, 2005

Gamer Shirt


http://www.comboclothing.com/

From reader Sarah:

"Hi. Been watching hanzismatter.com for a while now, and as a Japanese education major must admit that I have giggled uncontrollably on more than one account.

Anyway, just thought I'd pass on this beauty my boyfriend sent my way. The actual website has 先週 listed as meaning "gamer". Even my ex-roommate, who only took a craptacular Japanese class for two years, had to giggle and comment on how 'close' 先週 is to "gamer" (can you feel the sarcasm just leaking from that?).

http://www.comboclothing.com/game.jpg

Enjoy."

I have seen "gamer" been translated as ゲーマー in Japanese but never 先週.

[せんしゅう] last week/the week before


Friday, July 08, 2005

Talk Nerdy To Me



From Reader Malinda:

"Tian, long time reader first time emailer. I bought this shirt on Jinx.com - now I'm nervous... Does it really say 'Talk Nerdy to me?'"

Other than is missing a dot on top (thanks to anon.), I forwarded her question to my associates and here is what they had to say about the shirt.

Aaron replied with:

"Well, it's not WRONG, as in poor Japanese, but it's not really 'Talk Nerdy to Me' either. It says 'Konpyuuta gengo de hanasou ze.' This translates roughly to 'Let's speak in the language of computers!' The dirty/nerdy wordplay is, of course, obliterated once you get into Japanese.

Also, nerds are, of course, not just computer people, and not all computer people are nerds. I usually translate "nerd" as "otaku," although that conjures up more of an anime/manga freak than a computer/DnD freak... It's basically not the sort of thing that translates very well.

That being said, having taught Japanese and having just met up with some of my former students in Tokyo the other night, just having the shirt in Japanese might be sufficiently nerdy to impart the intended meaning."

Ken replied with:

"Not a bad translation although I wouldn't say it's a natural Japanese sentence. Grammatically, there's no problems.

I'd re-translate this Japanese into English as: Shall we talk in the computer language?

1. Real nerds wouldn't say "the computer language".

2. The letter at the very end which reads "ze" is written in katakana instead of hiragana. This is like, wRi71ng 3nGlisH LIk3 THis. Well, not this much, but basically it's a word play. In any case, using a katakana letter at the end is way out of fasion.

Having said all the above, I like this T-shirt. It's funny enough to make me laugh. Come to think of it, it's so much better to have an awkward sentence on a T-shirt than to have a perfect sentence. It draws more attention. That's what a phrase on a T-shirt is supposed to do."

Now you know, and knowing is:

"011010110110111001101111011101110110100101101110011001110000110100001010
0110100101110011

01101000011000010110110001100110
011101000110100001100101
011000100110000101110100011101000110110001100101
"

or "Knowing is half the battle".


Saturday, July 02, 2005

Dogging the Past

In Spring of 2003, Junko Hamaguchi wrote an article titled "Lost in Translation - Here’s what those cool-looking Japanese tattoos really say" for Echo Magazine, a student magazine for Columbia College Chicago. The same article was then republished in Chicago Tribune.

One of the photos was this one:



The photo's caption says:

The tattoo belongs to Marcus Gonzales
  • What he thinks his tattoo says: "strength" and "courage."
  • What it actually says: The left part of the symbol appears to say "dog," while the right part conveys something along the lines of "time moving into the past." Smushed together, the two symbols amount to gibberish.
The amazing thing is that I have found an exact replica of it in July 2005 issue of Tattoos for Women magazine!







The legend continues...



Australian Fans: Triple J Wants You!


http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/

Mr. Michael Atkin from Australian Broadcasting Company's Triple J program would like to interview you. Here is what he wrote me in an email recently:

Hi Tian,

My name's Michael Atkin, I'm a journalist from Australia with a national radio station called Triple J. I stumbled across Hanzi Smatter and just wanted to know whether you got many requests from Australians and if so I could contact a few of them?

Let me know if you get any Australians who are any good that I can speak to - or any good ones from the past. Pass on my email. That would be really good for a story.

Michael.Atkin@student.uts.edu.au

The only Australian I can remember is this guy: "rather to be a coward than die honorably"